what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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