If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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