I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
