Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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