she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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