Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
