and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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