Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
