I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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