I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dicks are not precious.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
