so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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