I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
