You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
