I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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