Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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