reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize