Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Randomize
