He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Randomize
