just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
