a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
His hands were made for my vagina.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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