The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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