Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
