So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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