So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
