i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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