I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
