She even gives head with a lisp.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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