Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
