i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How external is "for external use only"?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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