yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
