so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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