Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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