Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
