I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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