ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
