Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
