The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
