He is an equal opportunity slut.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
