I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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