Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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