So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Screwed.edu
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
