Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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