Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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