I need help removing her.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
