Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
