Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
