i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize