Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
