WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
