the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
