im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
