I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The ass gains better be worth it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
