Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
