one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
