I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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