i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize