thus making me awesome and them whores
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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