I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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