I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
