apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize