Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
