Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
