Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
