He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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