somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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